Why avoiding emotions is costing us...
We have been conditioned to believe emotions aren't safe.
In fact, they feel extraordinarily challenging.
We actually think if we feel them, we could die.
Don't cry, be quiet, don't be a sissy, don’t let it get to you,
...your face may change if you scowl.
Constantly bombarded with orders to avoid and judge what you were feeling.
Don't cry in public...what will people say?
You can’t get angry.. you won't be loved.
You can’t be jealous... it's a sin.
You can’t feel down...you'll fall into a black hole and never return.
As a child you started believing those stories.
It felt totally unsafe to feel uncomfortable.
So you did whatever you could just so you wouldn't have to feel.
Eating seemed to do the trick, it was quick and instantly made you feel better.
So you kept doing it, and created the habit.
Convincing your brain that it was far safer eating than feeling.
And in the thick of it, you think you're out of control.
The brain created the habit, so of course it also knows how to stop it.
To pick it apart, you have to look at what's you're doing in slow motion.
You'll understand how your brain had been misguided-
it thought you were in real danger, it was trying to protect you. To heal it, you have to reverse it, you have to start feeling your feelings.
Showing your brain there's no 'real' danger, and that you do have another option.
And the only reason you feel what you do, is because of what you were thinking. It may not be comfortable when you start, as you've avoided them for so long.
Allowing yourself to experience the discomfort, you'll notice it never lasts.
What’s surprising and exciting is, it’s not nearly as bad as you’d thought.
I’d love to tell you there was a quicker way, but you've done that already!
So, even if it’s for a minute, lean in and start to feel whatever comes up.
As you build up this muscle, I promise you, you'll no longer find eating as appealing.